Herein contained is set down an excerpt from the memoirs of one Captain Alan Sloshbeard.  Which were in fact stolen by some dirty Scottish noble brat who immediately turned it in to the authorities leaving me high and dry with a fat reward over my head, and by me I mean not me at all because I’m not Sloshbeard. My name is Randulf Slosher I swear I am in no way pantsless or have I ever been a Pirate…now where were those pants.

Hello There Journal,

It was an odd day when I found myself pa...

The Pantsless Pirate has a not so secret, secret; He likes to sing.  Usually about two mariners trapped in the belly of a whale.  In fact for the longest time that was all he would sing about, The Mariner’s Revenge.  Somewhere along the line someone dubbed him the one song bard.  This being a terribly useless sort of thing our good old Pantsless Sea Rat began musing about what you should do with a Drunken Sailor.  Way hey and up she rises.  This only made him a two song Bard so the quest co...

Herein contained is set down a record of that wily fellow from the wanted posters named Captain Alan Sloshbeard, who I am not now nor in anyway have I ever been, the same as or related to in any fashion… indeed.  Yours, The Pantsless Pirate…Privateer…Merchant…right.

Hello journal,

I found myself on the run once more; that is of course assuming that those servants of the crown who gave chase were not simply phantoms of a mind besotted with strong drink.  I sought to seek sanctuary at...